The Chaotix are Definitely a Thing
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: The third and final chapter of pure greatness. Perhaps...


Vector's orange slices were pretty sick-looking when displayed in such a wholesome manner. Espio's eyes watered in anticipation. He just wanted to take a single peel and do the booty thing.

"Nice chops, eh?" grinned Vector in his crocodile way.

"The tusks of a walrus don't lie," Espio grinned back.

"Blimey, folks!" cried Charmy as he entered through the sewers. His wings were damp from scum and residue.

"CHAHMEE, what are your intentions for such an obnoxious plea?" growled Vector, hands on hips. He snagged a baseball cap and fit it on his nose.

"Vector is correct," said Espio. "Now 'pologize!"

"I'm hungry. No time to speak ill," said Charmy. He put a doily on the oven and let it burn into the night.

"That's hot," said Vector. He tilted the cap.

"That's right, Vector, now look at my righteous stinger."

Espio gave the two a deadly attractive leer and pulled out his favourite pencil. "Shall I make this a day to remember?" he announced with high love.

"When I see the stars tonight. We must wait until then, guys," said Vector. He started feeling a bizarre queasiness in his lower intestines. "HOLY BUTTZ!" Vector then fell over onto his belly and started letting out his true power.

Espio's eyes widened in horror. "Chocolate is coming to this beautiful land…" Espio tore off the cover of the latest album and hid under it.

"N I C E," said Charmy in a hot way. He positioned his nose to encompass the chocolate intake.

Vector did the thing.

The chocolate covered the room. It landed in all of the tea kettles and on top of all the dairy products. No crevice was safe. Vector made sure to coat each tile, every cabinet, all the appliances. Today was the birth of his most magnificent feat in all of the world's history.

Espio regrouped his sense and reentered the room via warp pipe. "My goodness," he pondered as he stood on his toes. "This is a truly fiendish opinion of mine…"

"Opinions are for turkeys, my guy!" yelled Charmy at the top of his lungs that bees don't actually have.

"I may have a round 2 in store for yous guys," mumbled Vector like he was receiving a 'tox massage from those cool chairs you see at the marketplace.

"Buttz, man…" said Espio with the horn on his face.

Tails the Fox had just arrived on seen and was so happy to see that the Chaotix had finally experienced the wonders of chocolate. He took a great big lick of the substance and then proceeded to hug Espio's toes. "Do you want me to eat your feet?" he asked the attractive Chameleon.

"I dislike the notion, but concede my care. Please devour each phalange." Espio removed his shoes and stretched his giant toes out for all to see.

Charmy started rubbing his face in Vector's chocolate and then returned to his new episode of the Friends. "Have fun with your life, Tails!" he cheered.

Tails felt the solid compassion and then blew up into three million and ten pieces. Vector caught each one in his mouth and savoured the flavour.

"He is dead…" said Charmy with a bucket of butter on his booty. The cream was seeping into his pores and causing lovely music to burst from his antennae.

"Good job with your booty, CHAHMEE!" said Vector with a thumb-up.

"He sure is attractive when he does that, right Vex?" grinned Espio in pure delight. His toes started playing around in the chocolate.

"Vector! Do that again!" cried Charmy.

"ALL RIGHT! Leave this to me, boys!" Vector said as he plopped back on the floor and let out another storm of chocolate. His tail flapped in the breeze and brought joy to all who beheld the wondrous sight.

"I'd like to stick my face in the action," said Charmy. "However, I would be a hog for attempting such a thing. Espio, do I have your blessing?"

"Knock yourself out, kid," said Espio as he started beating his solid abs with a spoon. "I'll just keep an eye on your tuchus."

"Thanks, Espio!"

"Wow, Espio! You're such a great friend!" complimented Vector. He was surprised to see how nice everyone was being today.

"Just keep on shooting, starboy…" Espio said in his smooth and tantalizing tone. He stroked in between his toes and started levitating by the magic that was cast forth from his heart.

"Let's just keep it up, guys," said Charmy. "It's the only way I can become an astronaut after all."

THE CROCODILIAN END


End file.
